Life is grand - like candy, or heroin

I scored a job interview today! Granted, it's just a preliminary interview, and it's in Miami, which is - well - Miami, but I actually managed to get an interview based on my own (mediocre) credentials. And all I had to do was apply to 6,000 jobs. However, this has given me hope and the courage to follow my dreams. I am going to drop an atomic bomb on every city in the world until the radiation produces a single Godzilla, Mothra, or other Creature of Mass Destruction. Yippee!

Also, honest-to-God headline from today's Yahoo! news page (oh how I love/hate the news):

"Internet searches for arrested astronaut skyrocket."

The world is a sick bitch.